


An aching heart

by TheBananaDoctor



Series: Oc archives [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, it takes place somewhere after the war between templars and mages begins, this works as a backstory for these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22650913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBananaDoctor/pseuds/TheBananaDoctor
Summary: Zarách starts to feel very strange around his best friend and soon he realizes what it might mean.
Relationships: Lavellan/Lavellan, Original Mage Character(s)/Original Templar Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Oc archives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1529468





	An aching heart

They had been friends forever. Their families had been rather close even before they existed, so it was no surprise that their kids were to hang around each other a lot when they were younger. Zarách wasn’t technically an only child. He had an adoptive older brother, Ilya, who had joined their family at a young age when his parents were killed by a dragon. They were close and came to later have a history of hunting dragons together, but this wasn’t really about Ilya. Zarách had friends, too. Two in particular who were really close to him and who he cared about deeply and would do anything to protect them from the world that deemed them dangerous. See, they were mages, which was rather common amongst elves and he himself was a discarded disappointment in that regard. Zarách was born without magic to a long line of mages on both sides of his family. Still, his friends were more than welcome in his home. Elrahel was the more level-headed one of his friends, while Touko was the chaotic one who didn’t seem to have much control in his life at all. They were a tightly knit trio despite their differences.

When Zarách had left the clan to hunt dragons with Ilya, he had also left it on the worst possible terms with his father. He could only imagine how sad his friends must have felt like to let him go like that. The years went by and they never really saw each other. Ilya and him separated after he found a more purposeful life with the templar order. He served the order rigorously for years. One day he had by chance met Elrahel again. That day had changed his life.

He was glad to have him in his life again, even though at the beginning the whole deal of them being on opposite sides of a war was a hindrance, but it didn’t keep them from meeting up and having fun. Zarách had always felt more comfortable with Elrahel than Touko, even though he still loved them both equally. The lingering moments they spent with each other in remote locations, sneaking around town to have some peace or sometimes even meet up in some old ruins were thrilling and he looked forward to each and every time. He could tell they were growing closer by the minute.

After a while he was starting to feel a little different about his friend. There was the occasional flirting coming from Elrahel, but the templar wasn’t sure if it was serious or just friendly banter. Zarách didn’t have the courage to ask it straight away, so he struggled with it by himself, sometimes even losing sleep over it. Every once in a while he couldn’t stop thinking about Elrahel when he was alone, back at his small room at the garrison. His heart fluttered just thinking about his friend. Sometimes his mind wandered to fantasize about them doing small things together. Small, insignificant things that hardly changed anything in their current behavior. What if they were to hold hands? What if they hugged with more meaning? What if they cuddled each other to sleep? What if they kissed?

Zarách always stopped himself there. It was too much to think of anything more of the mage. In a way he felt wrong for thinking these things. They were friends, for Maker’s sake. He’d had a girlfriend for a while, but she decided to end it with him before it got too serious. This feeling was different though. What he’d felt with her had been on an impulse. They’d known each other for a while before but there wasn’t that deep profound bond that he had with Elrahel.

One night they were hanging around an abandoned outpost in the middle of nowhere. The conversation had drifted into who knows what and Zarách found himself staring at the beautiful face of his friend’s. He wasn’t even listening to him anymore. All he could think of was how his lips moved in a furious matter as he was excitedly explaining something to him. Zarách’s mind and eyes went to his arms that were emoting to match his words. What it would feel like to be touched by those hands.. Or touch those hands. He strained himself from reaching over. He just couldn’t. What if it ruined their friendship? Elrahel had told him that he was into men, but it didn’t mean that he was into every man in his life. He himself didn’t really care about those trivial things. Love is love, he always told himself, and gender had nothing to do with love. But could he even call this love? Was it more like lust? He was afraid to admit it in case of the rejection.

In his haze, the only words he could hear were calling him cute. Zarách snapped out of his trance and locked eyes with his friend.

“I’m not cute!” he protested, feeling his face burst into flame and the same fluttery overtook his heart.

“Pff, yes you are. Don’t try to deny it. That just makes you cuter.“ Elrahel seemed way too casual in his body language. Was he really serious?

“I don’t think that describes me too well,” he went for a more formal pout. Could he just brush it off like that?

“Oh come on! A small guy with a sword bigger than himself. Hard on the outside, soft on the inside. That’s basically the definition of cute.”

“You’re just gigantic!” he still couldn’t accept it, trying to hide his true feelings behind some kind of a facade.

Elrahel just shrugged with the widest grin he could muster. He changed the subject effortlessly like nothing had just happened. It wasn’t fair that the mage played with his emotions so easily. Could he even know how he felt? Was he doing it because he knew? And just like that, they never brushed the subject again during that night. It had been a passing remark though it didn’t feel like something he’d hear casually practically anywhere else. Perhaps as a taunt in the middle of training but that was clear as day nothing more than a taunt. With Elrahel he could never be sure. Their relationship was intimate in the most platonic ways. He’d helped Zarách deal with his family issues and always been there to listen until the templar left him behind like all that hadn’t meant anything to him. That might have been his biggest regret in life. He should’ve at least said goodbye. His friend’s casual behavior, like none of that would’ve ever happened, felt like an insult. Like he was trying to get back at him by being too nice only to break him down psychologically later.

In a way, Zarách was afraid something like that would happen and he didn’t allow himself to admit any feelings he might have been harboring within himself. He trusted Elrahel, but because of his past actions, he couldn’t trust him for his own sake. In fact, Elrahel was the wounded party in this mess, not him, but still he felt more and more hurt. He wondered if he was selfish for thinking something like that. Once he was back at his private room, he could still only think about his friend. He tried praying for an answer but the Maker never answered in the ways he needed Him to. He felt like a mess, but that was nothing new.

They hadn’t seen each other in a while, which just led to Zarách worrying and thinking about Elrahel even more than usual. It was starting to affect his job performance and sleep. He was also starting to feel too frustrated and he needed to know, so he arranged for them to meet again after sundown at one abandoned location near the town he was living in at the moment.

He waited nervously at the ruins, feeling the butterflies in his stomach intensify by every second he had to wait longer for. He couldn’t stop thinking of possible ways his friend would react and the longer he waited, the less positive the reactions in his mind went. Zarách hated to admit it, but when Elrahel finally arrived, he was more afraid than ever to even say hello. The mage was as cheerful as ever and as much as he loved seeing the other beam rays of sunshine after dark, he grew more anxious to ask what he really wanted to ask. He didn’t want to ruin the mood, but he knew he had to at some point. He couldn’t take it anymore. They’d known each other for years but now he was afraid to ask him questions.

He stayed rather silent while his friend went on to lead the conversation. At some point, he had no idea how much time had passed by then, Elrahel stopped and looked at him concerned.

“Is everything okay? You seem a little more quiet than usual?”

“Y-yeah..”

His taller friend raised a brow in disbelief. He could always see right through him.

“No..” he admitted. “I.. I have something I’d… I’d like to say..”

“Well by all means don’t keep it to yourself. If it’s something I can help with, I’d be glad to hear it.”

“You’re too kind..” I don’t deserve you, he continued in his mind.

“Well I try anyway,” Elrahel chuckled.

“I don’t know how to say this..” he had to stop to try to calm his heart from pounding out of his chest. “You’re very important to me. More than anyone else.” He was so afraid of his reaction that he couldn’t even look his way. “I think.. I think I might be in.. In l-l-love with y-you..” Zarách finished. He wanted to hide in the deepest darkest parts of Thedas. He was so afraid but at the same time he wanted closure. When there wasn’t an answer, he was certain that Elrahel was just about to leave and he looked up. Only his vision was blurred with a face that was suddenly so close and the lips that were on his. This was a good sign, right? In his confusement, the templar didn’t know what to do for a second before his friend urged him into the kiss properly.

When they finally broke the kiss to breathe, Elrahel leaned back to give him the most tender smile he’d ever seen.

“I’m rather sure I’m in love with you, silly. I hoped you’d catch on to my flirting, honestly,” the mage stated with an amused look on his face.

“This whole time?”

“I think it started as something innocent when we were kids but when you went away, the feelings just intensified and one day it was all clear..” Elrahel confessed.

“I’m so sorry I left you..”

“I don’t think you’d have grown into the man you are today if you didn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think you wouldn’t be miserable and feel worthless if you were still living with your parents?”

“Well.. Fine, but how does that make me any different?”

“You seem to have a purpose in life now. Even if it is hunting down mages, but from what I’ve seen, you’re nothing like your peers, no offence.”

“I’ve had good influences from a mage my whole life,” he made it sound as innocent as possible but he couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to be smooth.

“Honestly, the way your family treated you, I’d expect you to hate magic and mages with a burning passion, but you don’t. That makes you better than your parents, and better than most templars I’ve come across. You’re a good person and that’s what I love about you.”

“But I left you..”

“Sure it was sad, but I had Touko and sooner than I could imagine, I took your example and left the clan too. I’ve seen far more world on my own than ever with them and I’m grateful for that. You showed me that it was possible to leave.”

“Elly..” he was trying to hold back tears. It really wasn’t like him to cry so openly but he felt so whole and safe with Elrahel.

“Come ‘ere,” the mage opened his arms and invited him to a tight hug.

It was comforting and warm. Zarách didn’t want to let go. He buried his face into the taller elf’s chest, sobbing away his guilt. They stayed in the embrace for a long time before eventually breaking it just to get comfortable on the floor. They kept each other company through the night. It was all he had ever hoped for and more. And when he fell asleep in Elrahel’s warm arms, he was happier than he had been in ages. He felt free.


End file.
